"Who says Vampires are no laughing matter?" A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.

"The wedding night, the anticipation, the kiss, the knife, BUT ABOVE ALL... THE SUSPENSE!" A religious fanatic marries a gullible widow whose young children are reluctant to tell him where their real daddy hid $10,000 he'd stolen in a robbery.